Log Title: Honk-a Honk-a Burnin' Clowns
Starscream
Characters: Soundwave, Windshear, Scourge, Starscream
Location: Trypticon, Training Arena
Date: November 6, 2012
TP: Non-TP
Summary: Starscream rounds up a couple of the 'cons for the usual training when all hell breaks loose in the arena. Hilarity ensues.
Starscream looks at Windshear and Scourge, "Don't just stand there like lumps at a smelter.. attention!"
Windshear casually turns to regard Starscream, not looking entirely interested. "Yeah?" he replies, not convinced that Starscream isn't just in one of his 'moods'.
Scourge rubs his face and then gazes at Starscream. "Yes?"
Starscream looks at Windshear for a long moment. That slagging nano virus... "Stand at attention." he says in a controlled manner and then looks at Scourge. "DIDNT YOU HEAR WAHT I SAID?"
"Ahem." Windshear replies, and straightens his posture up a little bit, letting his arms down. "You've got my attention. What is it?"
Starscream waits for the Sweep but isn't enjoying it.
Scourge ohs. He stands more ramrod straight.
Windshear sneers at the sweep, but also at Starscream's lack of composure. It creeps into a smile on the other side of his face.
Starscream starts pacing back and forth in front of them. "Ok.. Soundwave took you for some exercises after your.. unfortunate experience in the Repair bay because of the nano virus." but Starscream is determined that Soundwave is not going to undermine him in any way. He continues. "But *I* have yet to see if the two of you are fully repaired." he snaps a look at Windshear. Yes its not long since they returned from talking with Jetfire but he will deal with that later. "Both of you prepare for combat!" he orders suddenly and steps aside. Then he notices that smirk on his brothers face...A wing twitches and he resists saying anything to it.. for now.
Windshear readies himself for simulated combat.
Scourge readies himself for simulated combat.
Starscream sees they are ready and says, "Scourge attack first. Do not attack to kill! UNDERSTAND?!" he cant afford more repairs on what few mechs and resources he has right now.
"Oh boy Scourge. Another run at the training drone." says Windshear. *boioioing* goes a spring from the broken drone, then the clang of metal, and a hubcap falls off the drone and rolls past Starscream's leg, noisily falling to a stop on his foot.
"What do you mean, 'don't attack to kill'? This IS a simulation, isn't it?" Scourge asks.
Starscream looks down slowly at the hubcap that rolls to a stop at he feet and then looks at Scourge. "Don't question me, Sweep! I gave you an order and I expect it to be followed!"
"Fine," Scourge rumbles. He glances over at Windshear, and then lunges at him, claws outstretched!
>> Scourge strikes Windshear with Claw. <<
Soundwave calls from the back of the room. "Error: Drone components should not include a hubcap."
Starscream looks back at Soundwave. When the smeg did he get in here?! "If I say the drone has a hubcap it does. I'm the leader now, and what I say goes!"
"Hey, Scourge, what gives?" Windshear says, trying to dodge to the side as the claws dig in. He takes the deep scratch, waiting for Scourge's momentum to slow down, and raises his fist, punching downward at the spotlight on the top of the sweep's head.
>> Windshear strikes Scourge with Punch. <<
"Error! Error!" says Soundwave as the two Decepticons go at it. "Subspace mis-orientation!" From behind the training drone, rolls a Frenzy-sized shopping cart full of squeak toys. It bumps into the wall with a metallic clang.
Starscream looks back at Soundwave. He's lost it. He's finally lost it. "See this is what happens when you have chest pets..."
Scourge snickers at Soundwave's shopping cart, "Starscream told me to attack you," he says, "But don't worry, I won't kill you." He oofs as he's punched, and pounces, attempting to knock Windy down.
>> Scourge misses Windshear with Bash. <<
>> Windshear evades Scourge's Bash attack. <<
Windshear moves in with Scourge's momentum, letting the sweep go right past. "How considerate. Now, be on your way." he says, giving Scourge a swift boot to the aft.
>> Windshear misses Scourge with Kick. <<
A cartwheeling clown 'rolls' past Starscream, beeping like a truck backing up.
Starscream stares at the clown, his optics flare and he suddenly shoots it.
Scourge evades the kick from Windshear, He ducks down and tries to sweep the leg.
>> Scourge misses Windshear with Kick. <<
>> Windshear evades Scourge's Kick attack. <<
Windshear flops to the ground on his back, his momentum carrying him upward as he misses with the kick, and makes a desperate lunge with one leg at the sweep's own grounded foot.
>> Windshear misses Scourge with Kick. <<
Scourge evades the attack by leaping at Windshear, attempting to pin him.
The clown falls to the ground, making a sad clown face, and clutching his chest as he begins to bleed out.
>> Scourge strikes Windshear with Smash. <<
Starscream looks at the clown and grins evilly. "Good." he mutters and looks back in time to see the Sweep smash Windshear. He raises an optic ridge. That looked like it hurt but he just continues to watch.
"Get...off...me...sweep!" Windshear says, managing to get an arm up under him, locking fingers with the sweep in an attempt to push him off.
Windshear challenges Scourge to a contest of STRENGTH.
The clown's body turns a pale orange, and inflates into the dimpled form of a 6.5 foot long circus peanut.
Scourge wins the challenge.
Starscream looks back at the clown and then looks at Soundwave, "Now I know why he's so weird." he mutters to himself and gives another look at the circus peanut then back at the two mechs fighting
Scourge grins. "You can't overpower me," he says, and then lunges forward to try to punch Windshear in the face!
>> Scourge misses Windshear with Punch. <<
>> Windshear evades Scourge's Punch attack. <<
Windshear dodges his head to the side, avoiding Scourge's other fist. He manages to get a wing free, and swings the empty payload carrier hard against Scourge's side.
>> Windshear strikes Scourge with Smash. <<
Scourge ows as he's clobbered in the side. He growls and slashes at Windshear.
>> Scourge strikes Windshear with Slash. <<
A parade of smiling clowns appear, all holding picket signs depicting themselves crying. "Funeral march for a dead marionette" plays from a clown car with two flags upon it. Behind it march four more clowns, bearing a large, black, peanut shaped box.
Starscream has his attention distracted again by a weird clown. "WHERE ARE YOU COMING FROM!?" he shrieks as he picks one up and starts beating the slag out of the others with the one that just became his clown knocker
"That game, huh Scourge?" the dark seeker says, "Well, try THIS on for size. It's a CUT UP!" Windshear extends one arm blade, thrusting it at the sweep's torso.
>> Windshear misses Scourge with Armblades. <<
Scourge urks and rolls to the side as the arm blade is thrust at him suddenly. He doesn't want a repeat performance! Then he tries to bite the hand that is trying to stab him.
>> Scourge strikes Windshear with Punch. <<
Starscream looks like a maniac covered in clown goop as he smashes the last clown with whats left of the clown that got pegged to be the clown knocker. Then he catches a reflection off of steel and looks back suddenly. "Enough!" he stammers. "I said NOT to KILL!!"
It appears the clowns have the power of subspace too! As Starscream goes at them, they suddenly pull tommy guns from within their loose costumes, and fire a large spread of tiny circus peanuts at Starscream and the other Decepticons. Soundwave dives for cover behind an obstacle course barrier. Several of the orange bullets still penetrate the armor of the tape commander, and plenty of them hit Starscream, piercing armor and including every bit of pain that normal damage would incur.
O_O
Starscream isn't like Windshear. He doesn't particularly handle pain as well as his brother (unless he's really really mad and even though he's really annoyed right now he's not mad enough to ignore the pain).. he yows and backs away from the clowns. "SHOOT THE CLOWNS YOU FOOLS!" he shriek bellows as he opens fire. "SOUNDWAVE! CALL THEM OFF THATS AN ORDER!!"
"Agh what was that?" Windshear says as one of the tiny peanuts pierces his wing. Despite the pain, he pulls back another fist, hoping to get the sweep off his injured hand. He then looks toward the strange display of a clown funeral attacking Starscream.
>> Windshear misses Scourge with Punch. <<
"Since when is a nip to the hand lethal?" Scourge snaps at Starscream, releasing Windshear's hand, then attempting to chomp down on it again.
>> Scourge strikes Windshear with Punch. <<
"IT'S NOT... Windshear's blade is though!" Starscream wasn't yelling at Scourge this time. He was trying to rein in the Zombie Seeker.
"Funeral not my doing." Soundwave intones, ducking out from behind for only a moment, still dodging peanuts. He points a finger during one such dodge. "There." he points to a large, shimmering 'rip' appearing in the rear center of the training area, not far behind the training dummy.
Starscream looks behind the training dummy and sees a spacial rip. He pauses in mid clown knocker swing and stares. "What the.... Scourge, Windshear! Stop the combat! We got a problem!"
Windshear, still baffled by the display, now has things on his mind other than training. "What?" he says, bringing an elbow down on the sweep's head. "Get... off!"
>> Windshear strikes Scourge with Smash. <<
These last few words are bent acoustically, as if sped up and slowed down in uneven speeds. Soundwave places his hands over his ears, He fires a rocket into the rip from his shoulder cannon. As it swooshes into the hole, a loud "honk-a honk-a" sounds, and the missile comes flying back into the room. Heading straight for Scourge.
Scourge is clobbered off of Windshear and rubs his head. "What problem?"
Scourge sees the missile, curses, and ducks!
Windshear is thoroughly confused at this point. "Wh-what's happening?" he says, ducking as the missile swooshes by again. "None of this makes any sense!" He drops to the ground, covering his head for a moment, then looking up to find the location of the missile.
Starscream sees the missile come back into the room and snaps a mean look at Soundwave. "Its his fault!!" he raises an arm cannon and tracks the missile for a second then fires at it.
The remaining clowns continue to pelt everyone with peanut fire. The missile finally explodes, hitting the clown car, and setting it aflame. Behind the rip, it can be seen that a score of clown firemen are attempting to bring themselves sand their over-sized fire engine through the rip.
"CLOSE THE RIP!" Starscream orders as he turns and fires at the spacial rip.
Scourge starts firing at the tear in time and space. "Where did that come from?"
"Uhh?" says Windshear, unsure how to even deal with the utter confusion happening in their own training arena. "Is...is this part of the program?" he says, opening up with laser fire.
As the three fire at the rip, a jagged, square edged pattern begins to form on either side of it, and a large, rectangular section with a hole at one end forms at the top, dangling the Decepticons' reality in front of them. Soundwave joins the four, firing rockets at the clown fire engine in an effort to keep it back.
Starscream doesn't have time to answer anyone as he keeps firing. He's also running scans of the rip too to try and pinpoint where it came from and how.
Starscream looks toward Soundwave, "Shut the power off in this room!" he orders suddenly. If they can stop the power that should weaken the rip. IT has to be drawing power from somewhere and -- he remembers something suddenly and looks back at.. the hubcap. He grabs it and flings it into the Rip suddenly.
Scourge clicks off the breaker switch!
Windshear continues to shake his head, firing emphatically at the rip. "This...this makes my programming hurt!" he says.
The lights shut off, and on either side of the rip, as the hubcap is thrown into the clown-filled hole, the square, crenelated edges take on a metallic appearance, forming a solid strip on either side. The dangling piece begins to match as well, now hanging from a latch-like object.
Starscream pauses at Windshear's comment and at what the rip is now doing. He mentally resets his arm cannon and fires his null ray into the hole.
Starscream glances at Windshear. "Programming? Can you sense the energy thats powering this Rip in space/time?"
"I don't think shooting at this thing is gonna close that hole." Windshear says. "I think it helped though!" Windshear says, shooting at the remaining clown funeral that's left. Man do those bullets hurt!
Starscream suddenly notices something and walks toward the rip. He keeps his eye on the thing hanging from the top of the rip and as he gets closer it is what he suspects and grabbing it he zips the opening closed... And he looks completely lost at this point.
"How do we close this thing?!" Scourge growls.
Starscream looks back at Scourge, "Like I just did." he looks at Windshear and then back at the where the rip was and then looks at Soundwave. "You said your subspace went unstable earlier. Was this part of it?"
As Starscream gets closer to the rip, and begins to pull down, the clown firemen yell at the seeker leader loudly in protest...in their native tongue, which happens to sound like a bunch of new years party favors. POP! The rip suddenly disappears, and the group is left in the dark, with only the hum of Trypticon to tell them where they are.
Scourge grabs an edge like Starscream did and starts pulling, digging into whatever weird thing this is with his claws.
Scourge would be equally baffled at the situation, as the rip has completely disappeared.
Soundwave clambers over in the dark, but trips over the burning clown car. A lone 'honk-a' and a harmonic groan from the cassette leader is heard.
Starscream twitches a wing as the corners of his mouth threaten to erupt in a slag eating grin, "I take that as a yes..." he barely manages to get out as he tries to keep from laughing.
Windshear finally reminds everyone he's still here. "....did we kill it?" he says. "I mean...close the rip...cut off clown-land...whatever?" He scrapes along the ground int he dark. "Ugh...what...did I step in?"
Starscream turns and walks to the breaker, flipping the power back on suddenly. And with no warning, though he knew what was about to happen and prepared his optics for the sudden bright light.
Scourge got his claws into something, and when the lights come back on, he sees he has shredded a clown. He ughs.
Windshear looks down at a charred, melted puddle of circus peanut. "I...the lights are on and I STILL don't know what I stepped in!" He uses a blade to cut himself free, and still gets it full of orange. He looks at his other hand. "Scourge? Really? My hand?" he says, regarding the sweep-sized holes in it.
Windshear takes one step toward the sweep, and then stops, looking at Scourge's handiwork. "So...what now, weirdo? You gonna eat that?" He shakes his head, walking over to a cleaner area.
Starscream looks around the arena and wonders just how the smeg this all went down. This was the farthest thing from his mind when he ordered everyone down here.
Soundwave finally gets straightened up and looks around the room, the charred remains of the battle and orange goo covering everything.
"SO. MANY. CLOWNS." he says. Still not moving from where he stands.
Starscream opens his commlink and orders a massive cleaning crew to the arena.
Scourge shakes his head. "Ewww," he says, "I don't eat clowns. They taste funny."
Starscream stops and just looks at Scourge.
Soundwave tilts his head.
Windshear turns around and regards Scourge again. "So that means you actually *have* eaten clowns before, if you know what they taste like." He just wrinkles his nose, and looks at Starscream.
Starscream looks at Windshear and gives a slight nod. That has to be the truth.
"By accident," Scourge protests.
Starscream tilts his head slightly to one side, "Now how can you /accidentally/ eat a clown?"
"Uh huh. I believe you. Clown-eater." Windshear says, shaking his head. He steps up to the door. "Have fun cleaning this up. You might want to wear a bib." he steps through the door, heading for the solvent showers. *Something* has to work to clean off this goo.
Soundwave looks down at the sweep, the shredded clown, and back to the sweep. "Shredded Clown: not part of this complete recharge." he shrugs, and follows Windshear, as his chassis is equally filthy.
Starscream sees the cleaning drones come in and looks back at Scourge, "They are not on the menu..." and he turns and follows Soundwave out to head to the solvent showers himself.
Scourge mutters something. "Okay, it wasn't by accident," he admits, "I was low on fuel and there was a circus nearby. Some clown was off by himself. He never saw it coming."
"HAH! I KNEW IT!" Starscream is heard saying as the door shuts behind him.