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Events

January

John MacLeod

President John MacLeod

Jan 23 - Inauguration

Joe Schmo appears outside of MacLeod Towers, backdropped by what appears to be the swearing in of the new President. "We are here outside of MacLeod towers where President John MacLeod has just been sworn in after giving his inaugural address. As we know, the inauguration had to be moved due to the attack on Washington. President MacLeod has completed his swearing in and wanted to make some additional comments as to the recent attack. We go live to the newly sworn in President now."

The camera pans to the President standing at a podium, "My fellow Americans. As I stated in my previous address...now is the time for action, not empty words or promises. As you know, terrorists have attacked our nations capital. The great men and women of our military are holding them off but this just goes to show the failures of the previous administration. Terrible. Just terrible. An absolute disaster. I promise that as your President I am going to strengthen our military and intelligence assets to where things like this won't be able to happen. It's going to be big league. Absolutely HUGE. We will drive these terrorists out and we will wipe them off the face of this planet. God bless you and God Bless America!"
"Well folks, there you have it. Strong words from our new president. And now to the scores of the galactic cricket cup...."

January 25 - "DC Falls to Cobra"

Washington, DC falls into Cobra's hands.

January 26 - "Encounter with Jetfire and Snaptrap"

Cyclonus encounters Seacons and an Autobot at Silent Grill.

February

Major Bludd

Major Bludd

March

Mar 25 - Navy OTTERS?

Someone around the PIT has put magnetic signs over all the doors that formerly said Navy SEALS, and now it says Navy OTTERS, with an additional post-it that says 'sorry, budget cuts :('

29 March - "The Biggest Threat

An Incinerator gets curious about the real condition of Starlight Mansion.

April

May

  • May - "Free Me" - Angel tries to escape Cobra's control.
  • May 01 - "A Good Kid" - DJ Faireborn and Spike Witwicky talk in Autobot City about DJ's prospects for summer employment.
  • May 3 - "The Return of Zetar" - Zetar returns, to Bishop's surprise and disbelief.
  • May 3 - "Bishop Interview" - Bishop interviews Megatron in Triax.
  • May 4 - "Backblast and Cuffs" - Cuffs visits Backblast in his sniper's nest.
  • May 12 - "Valuable Prisoners" - Rartorata visits Snaptrap in the brig of The Hatemaker.
  • 5/12 - "The Gathering Swarm - First Contact" - A team of Autobots on a deep-space salvage mission have come across an object floating through space. It appears at first to be an escape pod covered in Decepticon symbols, but strangely designed for long range flight. What they find inside is an unstoppable creature that holds loyalty to neither faction, but only The Swarm.
  • May 17 - "DC Recon" - G.I. Joe travel to Washington, DC, to size up the Cobra occupation.

May 22 - The Lurking Terror

<The Junkion insignia is replaced by a classic Test Pattern, which briefly gives way to the face of RV, his face grim and haunted.>

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programs to bring you this late-breaking announcement. Terror! Absolute Terror! Steve was right there, man. And then he was gone. His last words were, "Heyooooooo!" It was a night just like tonight. The clouds were heavy, black, and pendulous. Where, oh where, had my little lamb gone? I see you quiver with antici-...

<A group of Junkions in the background shout, "SAY IIIIT!">

...-pation. When I found him again, he was a shell of a man. He couldn't even say, "Heyo." Something scared him out of his wits! It was down below... deep within. It was... THE LURKING TERROR!

<Translation: RV and Steve were wandering the canyons beneath the Pillar of Rust, when Steve disappeared. When he was found again, he was too scared to say his catch phrase (and only vocabulary), "Heyooooo!" Something down there scared him near-to-death.>

May 26 - "Can I Admit Something to You?"

Angel opens up to Lowdown in the brig.

May 30 - Decepticon Traitors

<The following is just one of many similar stories circulating through the bars and seedy joints throughout the populated areas of Cybertron...>

Mech 1: Yeah, man, no kiddin'. Geloid Lubricant all over him. His assistant walked out an' never came back. Mech 2: No slag? Hey, speakin' a' things walkin' away, I heard tha Dominicons left the Decepticons. Mech 1: Yeah? What happened? Mech 2: I dunno, somethin' about their leader pickin' a fight with Megatron an' kickin' his aft from Tarn ta Calyhex. Mech 1: That's slaggin' crazy. I don't buy it. Mech 2: 'ey, ya don't gotta believe me. Just watch yer back around the Rust Sea.

June

Jun 06 - Ruckus on Monacus

<The Monacus Broadcast Network ran the following story, reported by Flip Spotwell, a Nebulan news anchor.>

Total Carnage Entertainment billed it as The Ruckus on Monacus, and they couldn't have been more right. Newcomer Fireclaw was taking a shot at the title of Grand Champion, when a trio of unidentified Cybertronians broke into the Galactic Gladiators' arena. While two of them took down the arena's security systems, their apparent leader made an appearance on the battlefield, incapacitating reigning champion Gathros. While this mech remains unidentified, he and Fireclaw apparently had some former association. With security and restraint systems shut down, the gladiators proceeded to run amuck against security forces. Fortunately, all spectators were able to make it safely out of the stadium, and no civilian casualties have been reported. Fireclaw and his associates, in addition to an undisclosed number of gladiators, remain at large.

July

Jul 29 - Cobra Shrink Needs Help?

Conversation overheard between Big Shot and Gargoyle, Interrogator's gunners.

Big Shot looks around nervously, which is odd for the Californian, and says, "I think he's losing it.
Gargoyle also looks around nervously, his face falling from its normally contemplative state, and says, "I know. he's drinking insane amounts of coffee and talking to himself."
He's never talked to himself, and what about all the other weirf stuff he's been doing?," Big Shot sighs
"I know," Gargoyle says with a nod,"He sent me in disguise for some Adderall. He didn't even write a prescription, just told me to rob the place if I needed to."
Big Shot says, "What's with the Adderall?"
Gargoyle Looks around again, real carefully, and says quietly, "I looked it up. It calms people who need it, but makes those who don't energised and hyperalert."
"Shit!", Big Shot says.
The pair notice another Mamba crew coming and nod at each other as they resume their usual demeanors. The crew salute as they pass.
Big Shot says, "We better get some sleep...We're going to need all we can get..."
The two move off.

August

September

Sep 04 - CRN News report: Rescue-RATS?

Towards the end of a news report detailing damage done by the hurricane and flooding, the newscaster turns to another camera, and then smiles. "And in other news, a family of three has been found alive and well in the ruins of their collapsed home today - thanks to some rats!" A cartoon rat appears in a little cut-away window behind him. "Over now to our correspondent on scene, Ronald Soak."
Ronald is wearing a thick jacket and rough-weather gear. Behind him, there are the ruins of a three-floor house. "Thank you, Andrea. We've all seen the wider damage caused by the hurricane, with large areas that have been flooded out but, as the Harrisons found, the high ground isn't always safe! Shortly after the hurricane hit, their house collapsed around them because the ground had been washed out from underneath. They had been trapped for several days, and they weren't sure how much longer they could last.
"Luckily, however, a guardian angel was in the area. The tools of his trade? Giant rats, normally used to smell out mines."
He turns to the house, pointing out paw-prints in the mud. "Apparently, as well as mines the rats can sniff out helpless people trapped in their homes. We recorded this footage as we came in to airlift the family out."
A GI Joe 6-wheeled truck sits at a haphazard angle in the mud next to a collapsed house. Several extremely large rats are swarming over the building, being overseen by a man wearing orange gloves to help him guide the aircraft down. From this distance, the only clear details are his dark skin and GI Joe armour. Once the pilot has spotted him, he points in through the window, then pulls up a balaclava to hide his face.
He guides the helicopter down, then runs back to the building and moves some rubble. A man, a woman, and a teenager, covered in mud, climb through the gap he makes. The masked individual ushers them onto the helicopter and then backs away to let it clear off. He's seen making hand-signals to the rats as the helicopter departs.
Ronald appears back on screen. "When we returned here to talk to him, they were gone. We spoke to the US Army office, and got no response. Speaking to the men on the ground, the mysterious pied piper is apparently called 'Sinatra', and he's on secondment to the US Army from the African NGO 'Super Rats', which provides both mine-sweeping and tuberculosis hunting Gambian pouched rats. Back to you in the studio, Andrea."

September 05 - "Of Rats and Men"

We're from the government. We're here to help.

September 11 - "Decepticon Royal Rumble"

Infighting continues among the Decepticons.

September 12 - "Autobot Attack on Toraxxis"

After drugging the Decepticons with an energon additive that made them attack each other, the Autobots move in to capture the Toraxxis mega-refinery.

September 15 - "Totally Not a Brainwave Scanner"

Psyche-Out tests out his new equipment on Angel.

September 16 - "Another Session"

Angel goes back into the Memory Monitor.

September 16 - "Welcome Back"

Colton welcomes Sinatra back to the Pit.

September 28 - "Dreadnok Attack"

Cobra has unleashed the Dreadnoks on America, and only G.I. Joe can (maybe) stop them.

October

Oct 09 - Candygram at the White house

At least the USPS is still delivering despite the chaos in the United States.

That being said, nobody really knows if the bag of gummy dicks delivered to the White house is for Cobra Commander or the Duly Elected President Of The United States. Or if it matters.

October 10 - "Instructions for Interrogator"

Cobra Commander prepares Interrogator for big changes in Russia.

October 10 - "Assassination Attempt"

Zandar makes an attempt on Vladimir Putin's life.


Oct 18 - Rumors from Russia

RUMOR HAS IT

In response to rumors that Vladimir Putin may have been killed, Russian Spokesperson and personal loser of the Cold War to Rocky Balboa, Ivan Drago says "If he dies...he dies."

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